BusterB: Man Seeks Woman

I love this joke. This is exactly what men go through looking for a mate. This is not to say that all women are jerks, or that all men are poor suffering slobs. We all know that women go through the same sort of thing looking for a good man, because they never stop telling us about it. Well, here's the other side of the story:

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion.
So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide.
So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring.
She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.
Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her.
She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything.
She did mad impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met.
She made me miserable as often as happy.
She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.
So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her.
She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now I'm 40 and all I want is a girl with big tits.

The 9 Types Of Girlfriends

Ms. Nice Gal - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh darling, you shouldn't have."
Also Known As: What a Girl, Precious, One of the Boys, Doormat
Advantages: Cheerful, Agreeable, Kindly
Disadvantages: May wise up someday.
Old Yeller - "You spineless good-for-nothing no-talent SOB! Can't you see you're making me miserable?"
Also Known As: She-Devil, Sourpuss, The Nag, My Old Lady
Advantages: Pays attention to you.
Disadvantages: Screeches, Throws frying pans
Sickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps."
Also Known As: Whiner, Mewler, Grumpy
Advantages: Predictable
Disadvantages: Contagious
The Boss - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look."
Also Known As: Whipcracker, Sergeant, Ms. Know-it-All, Ball and Chain
Advantages: Often right
Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?
Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, or hair color?"
Also Known As: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw C'mon Honey
Advantages: Easily soothed
Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed
Wild Woman - "I've got an idea. Let's get drunk and make love on the front lawn. I done it before. It's fun!"
Also Known As: Fast Girl, Freewheeler, Unconscious
Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys.
Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs
Huffy - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at."
Also Known As: No Fun, Humorless, Cold Fish, Iceberg, Snarly
Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you.
Disadvantages: You will have no friends.
Woman from Mars - "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship."
Also Known As: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic
Advantages: Entertaining, Unfathomable
Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud.
Ms. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I want to make love to you like a crazed weasel."
Also Known As: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, The One
Advantages: Funny, Intelligent, Uninhibited
Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you.

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	I love this joke. This is exactly what men go through looking for a mate. This is not to say that all women are jerks, or that all men are poor suffering slobs. We all know that women go through the same sort of thing looking for a good man, because they never stop telling us about it. Well, here's the other side of the story: When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability. When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition. When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. Now I'm 40 and all I want is a girl with big tits. The 9 Types Of Girlfriends Ms. Nice Gal - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh darling, you shouldn't have." Also Known As: What a Girl, Precious, One of the Boys, Doormat Advantages: Cheerful, Agreeable, Kindly Disadvantages: May wise up someday. Old Yeller - "You spineless good-for-nothing no-talent SOB! Can't you see you're making me miserable?" Also Known As: She-Devil, Sourpuss, The Nag, My Old Lady Advantages: Pays attention to you. Disadvantages: Screeches, Throws frying pans Sickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps." Also Known As: Whiner, Mewler, Grumpy Advantages: Predictable Disadvantages: Contagious The Boss - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look." Also Known As: Whipcracker, Sergeant, Ms. Know-it-All, Ball and Chain Advantages: Often right Disadvantages: Often right, but so what? Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, or hair color?" Also Known As: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw C'mon Honey Advantages: Easily soothed Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed Wild Woman - "I've got an idea. Let's get drunk and make love on the front lawn. I done it before. It's fun!" Also Known As: Fast Girl, Freewheeler, Unconscious Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys. Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs Huffy - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at." Also Known As: No Fun, Humorless, Cold Fish, Iceberg, Snarly Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you. Disadvantages: You will have no friends. Woman from Mars - "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship." Also Known As: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic Advantages: Entertaining, Unfathomable Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud. Ms. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I want to make love to you like a crazed weasel." Also Known As: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, The One Advantages: Funny, Intelligent, Uninhibited Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you.